Karri sighed.
Without even opening her eyes or turning over, she knew that Rafa had left her side. It was cold behind her, where his body had been, and the absence of his soft, puppy-like snore left the room in utter silence. She sat up, listening for any sounds from the tavern beneath her, but heard nothing. With another, deeper sigh, she slid herself out of bed, straightened her nightdress, then pushed her door open into the darkness of the hallway.
Daerlun was warm in the day, but cool at night. The sea never breathed over it, and the native Marsemban found herself missing the cries of the fishing birds, the persistent lapping of small waves, and the tang of salt in the air. This evening was warmer than most, due to how hot it had been during the day, but the air was nearly completely bereft of humidity, leaving Karri feeling chilly anyway.
Her bare feet whispered their way down the hallway and eased carefully halfway down the steps to the tavern level before she noticed that Hai Shui's table was bare. Her eyes widened in the darkness, though she knew she could see no more that way.
Maybe it's happening, she thought hopefully.
If the man would simply demonstrate some sign of sliding either farther toward or away from the older man's condition, they could go home- or, to what she considered home. The thought paralyzed her before her feet could hit the main level's floor. What did Rafa consider home, anyway? Moonever, where he was born and raised? That seemed the wisest chance, except his entire family- including the members that weren't particularly pleased with his present condition- lived there. What about Waymoot, where he had been trained and stationed? It wasn't as though he could ever join up again; his discharge had been dishonorable. It wasn't likely that he'd be taken on even as a private guard, even if he'd wanted to dry. Or would he feel at home in this place, Daerlun, where he'd been baited into bedding down with a woman who'd pretended that she was willing to leave the solitary motherhood she'd known for years to begin anew with him? Wherever home was for him, would it be with her?
I should never have said I could do this, Karri despaired, sinking down onto the last step. It would have been easier for some other woman- any other woman-
Karri felt silly thinking that way, especially given the fact that she'd never have known Rafa if it hadn't been for Battlemage Beausace's assignment. She had tried to rationalize her attachment by telling herself that she had been without a partner for a very long and lonely time- likely, that was why Beausace charged her with baiting the man in the first place. Perhaps it had seemed to her as though the straight-laced, responsibility-laden maidservant might even have some fun at it. While it had felt naturally pleasurable to allow herself- for once- to get caught up in a man's arms, she couldn't get past the fact that Rafa had been a married man just a month ago. His peat beer-sodden romances had been extremely entertaining, but now that their initial lustful contact had cooled significantly, Karri felt guilty about doing further damage to a man already terribly misused. This crack in her certainty about the assignment had only grown with each night that he began warmly pressed to her back in the bed, only to end it asleep on the floor, reeking of sweat, beer, and mud.
He knows what's going on, she thought despairingly. Has known since we got here. He's distancing himself, and- and I'm getting- I'm getting attached- to a man I lied to-
And before she could finish her thought, there was a solid crack from the small yard behind the tavern. Karri shot to her feet at once. She hustled to the back door and pressed her ear against it, not willing to risk being seen through the window.
"It's alright, I suppose," Rafa was saying good-naturedly, sounding quite far away from the door. "Five gold's not a lot for any weapon. For that money, I may as well have bought another broom."
Hai Shui laughed, a rattling, croupy sound that reminded Karri of what her eldest child sounded like when what started as a miserable head cold took up permanent pulmonary residence.
That child- her one and only daughter- hadn't survived the winter.
Karri shivered in spite of herself.
"I... if you, uh..." Rafa trailed off, and from the increased volume of his voice, sounded as though he were returning to Hai Shui's side. "If you want to stay, I... well. At least I'll sleep, when you've beaten me unconscious."
And Hai Shui laughed again, although the vocal tone- what was left of it, under the nasty metallic cough- wasn't the same. There was something else to it- Karri couldn't tell what it might have meant- but it was a deeper, richer sound than the first. The Marsemban maid servant scooted closer to the unnoticed window that was allowing her to eavesdrop.
Not more than a few seconds later, Rafa grunted in effort, and Karri heard the sharp, slapping reports of flesh on flesh. Now unconcerned that either man might see her, she sneaked over to the closest one of the stone windows to have a look. Both men were bare to the waist- Hai Shui because it was his custom, and Rafa because he'd tossed his sweaty tunic aside- tumbling, straining and working against each other. To Karri's romantic eyes, it seemed more like a training session between a weary father and an impetuous child than a sparring match between an old drunkard and a washed out soldier. She couldn't help but notice that both of them seemed lighter- innately more energetic- in that moment. But the fanciful image couldn't last long- Rafa dealt Hai Shui a solid, right-handed gut punch that brought up a foul-smelling belch. The Shou stumbled backward in response, but mere seconds later, tossed an empty tankard- likely Rafa's- into the air, picked himself up into a spinning kick, and with the force of that kick, sent the improvised weapon sailing toward the former Purple Dragon as though it had been a ball from a cannon. The small metal vessel smacked the younger man hard, snapping his face to the side and dazing him for a solid thirty seconds, during which Hai Shui bent himself double to roar out two more bassy, dangerously wet belches. Karri, only mildly disgusted by the sound, momentarily wondered if she shouldn't grab a deep pot or a basin of some sort.
Rafa missed sight of Karri, just barely, as he tottered around with his hand to his bleeding temple. Meanwhile, the hoary fighter stood up straight again with a sigh of satisfaction, slapping his hairy, sweaty beer belly as though he were congratulating it.
"Still standing," he commented jovially. It was impossible for Karri to tell whether the old man were talking about himself or his opponent.
"A-yahp," Rafa managed, shaking his head and squinting at the blood on his fingertips like he'd never seen any such substance before. The reply was distinctly backwater, as though the tankard had knocked all the city-talk out of the Moonever-born man's mouth.
" 'Eya, den, m'boy-o; let's put yeh down."
It was an incredibly clear imitation of the flat, nasal Moonever accent, and Rafa was just barely recovered enough to understand the old man's parroting for the joke that it was. He fixed Hai Shui with a raised eyebrow and a slightly-vacant smirk. Hai Shui shrugged and opened his arms in mock challenge, and the two were enjoined again.
It became obvious to Karri that Rafa was best at some sort of grappling art for which she had no name. Hai Shui, however, was adept at slipping right through most choke hold attempts, and was only temporarily snagged once or twice. During one particularly good hold, Hai Shui pivoted, putting Rafa in the perfect position to catch Karri's gaze. The former Purple Dragon was distracted immediately. Taking full advantage of this, Hai Shui ducked down out of his arms, twisted one of them behind him, and flung him to the ground. With a short sigh, Karri guiltily forced herself through the back door.
"I'm... mmmnff... fine," Rafa managed from the ground after rolling over to look up at her. "If Master Shui really wanted to put me down for good, he right well would've."
And the old man grunted, which sent a gust of foul-smelling breath in Karri's direction, then moved toward the far side of the yard, away from the back door.
"I imagine he's gone to relieve himself," Rafa sighed as he got up. "Think that's why he came out here to begin with... unless I woke him up... I may have woken him up. And I guess you, too."
"There wasn't a racket, if that's what you mean," Karri said softly, drawing close to the sweating male. "I was just cold. The cold woke me up."
"Oh," Rafa frowned. "I can bring you a-"
"The blankets aren't as warm as you are," the brown-skinned young woman breathed, smirking slightly. "Won't you come up with me?"
And the former Purple Dragon sighed, sitting down on his knees and ankles.
"I... I'm sorry. I don't, eh... I can't recognize myself. Right now."
Karri raised an eyebrow, waiting for the continuation of the thought.
"I shouldn't do this; I- I want to...to..." He sighed again and rubbed his neck, leaving streaks of brown where the dirt of the ground met his damp skin. "But I- it's- I just- I don't know, I..."
"Out with it," the woman prompted, arms crossed.
"There's a woman," Rafa blurted. "A street woman, you know? Couple copper she said, but I gave her more. She's, eh... she's plenty warm, on my account. Maybe, eh... twice. Or three times. Maybe."
The woman wasn't sure why she was hurt by the way he'd satisfied the same natural urges that had drawn them together, but had to admit to herself that she was hurt anyway.
"I can't expect you to have feelings, Rafa," she heard herself saying. "Other than the ones any other natural man might. We had sex. It was great, but not binding. So you went off and found someone else. Do I have a right to be upset about that?"
"Are you?"
The man's simple, deep brown eyes, turned up to hers, put knots in her stomach. She longed to put her fingers through his hair, to take hold of the sides of his face, to press him against her belly and tell him to never leave her again.
I can't do any of that. What I can do is my job.
"No," Karri smirked playfully. "You only just met me some weeks ago- and not under the clearest of circumstances. That's not the way to start a relationship; we both know that. I enjoy your heat, Rafa. I miss it. And I have never charged you a single copper."
Rafa didn't say anything when Karri fell silent. He sat still, a passive recipient to the gentle kiss on his forehead, and didn't move his gaze when she walked back into the building.
Nothing. Just, nothing. Stone, or ice, or a sharp piece of metal might feel more for her than I do- and that is... wrong.
In his mind, only a few moments passed between her footsteps and the heavier tread of Hai Shui. It seemed as though the Shou had decided to walk past him and toward the tavern, and without any impetus to move from his position, Rafa simply figured he would let the man go his own way.
In reality, however, he sat in the same place long enough for Hai Shui to walk all the way up behind him. The older man took the opportunity to simply smack the younger male in the back of the head, profoundly startling him.
"You're in a web," he stated flatly, crossing his arms, when the former soldier looked back at him.
"She just said-"
"She's lying," Hai Shui hissed, an attempt at a whisper that failed miserably.
Rafa laughed listlessly, not sure if it were really a joke. "I, eh... I had a feeling, but..."
"But there's nothing," Hai Shui finished, walked around Rafa and kneeling down in front of him so that they could look each other in the face. "Nothing."
"She... should," Rafa began, twisting his face uncomfortably. "She should mean something."
And all that the old Shou did was laugh sadly, at a joke that the young man before him hadn't a prayer of understanding.
Wake up, he thought, remembering the warning he himself had once been given with a sharp jag of bitterness. Wake up, before it's too late for you.
But after his sour chuckles faded, there reigned only silence. The actual warning never came out of his mouth. About two minutes later, when he regained consciousness and realized that Rafa left him dozing on the ground, he had a sinking feeling about where the younger man had gone.
Upstairs, Karri closed the door behind herself and leaned on it. It only took a few moments for her to decide to allow herself to slide to the floor.
This is my fault, she thought, putting her head in her hands. What am I doing allowing myself to care? To get attached and emotional? What did I think he was going to do, turn into something I could really... no. He's a wash-out, a drunk, a homeless, helpless whoremonger-
And then suddenly, as if it were brought to her mind by some spell, she thought of the look he'd given her, kneeling down before her, filthy and sweaty.
"Are you?"
It had been a genuine question, an honest request for judgment. A smirk pulled at the edges of her lips.
What if I were upset? What if I were very upset- enough to pull myself away? Would you try to straighten up, Rafael, try to be a clean living man? How hard would you try- and for how long? How long would it take you to fall even farther, sink even deeper? Drown yet another failure in a sea of weak peat beer? Or... maybe...
A full blown smile spread across Karri's face.
Beausace hadn't sent her because she might have fun, or because she may have seemed easier to Rafa to prey upon than younger, unburdened women in the household. Beausace knew, had to have known, that the Ranclyffe's experiment, as it was originally intended, was garbage. While Rafa had a street ruffian's reputation prior to enlistment with the Purple Dragons, it had taken the death of his mother, the deaths of six fellow officers, dishonorable discharge, and the hideous failure of his marriage to push him into his current state.
So it had to be that Karri wasn't there merely to observe Rafa's slide into Hai Shui's condition, no- she was there to push him down into it.
And I will enjoy that almost as much as the sex, the Marsemban thought to herself as she snuggled down into the thin covers.
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